Kelly Little

I was short and I knew I was short,

but they didn't have to remind me of that everyday.

I was always the butt of their jokes and their taunting

by calling me names like "little B" and "Oompa".

Then they made me wear John's hat

and say in an Irish voice like a little leprechaun,

"Everyone's always stealin' me lucky charms."

That was the end, I couldn't take it anymore.

I had to give up wearing the color green.

This drove my husband, Bobby, to have a heart attack

when he saw the credit card bill for all the new clothes

I bought to replace everything that was green.

(I could never wear the same thing twice in one year.)

I also had to dye my hair for the fifth millionth time

because it was a reddish orange, and it reminded me of a leprechaun.

They drove me to my grave, taunting me all the way.

They had all better watch out now

because I'm going to come back and haunt them.

They better hide their lucky charms!